You should be studying.

rough-sailing:

i wonder if my parents realize they are living with an a list celeb who is bff with kim kardashian


272 notes · 22 hours ago · reblog

shavingryansprivates:

jontronshat:

shavingryansprivates:

KFC employees truly do not care about anything. ask for a 10 piece and they give you 15

I’m a fellow whovian and i can confirm this

what

(via biodicks)


204,767 notes · 1 day ago · reblog
15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

36,341 notes · 1 day ago · reblog

eatpizzas:

me: just gettin some gum like

image

everyone:

image

(via dulect)


6,088 notes · 1 day ago · reblog

problematicspice:

profoak:

k999:

shakira is 93 years old and she still looks hotter and plays soccer better than you in a long ass dress,just let that sink in

FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE YOU SAY SHAKIRA IS 93 YEARS OLD

image

(via pizza)


66,927 notes · 1 day ago · reblog
catbountry:

ex-wife:

did-you-kno:

Source 

"When I got my first cat, it changed me. There is something about holding a cat that makes your anger melt away. And if someone does something that upsets me—I have to remember my cat. I can’t keep my cat if I get into trouble.”

"I asked if Major Cabanaw had concerns for the safety of the cats. “Of course, we always want to ensure the safety of the cats, and the staff is great about keeping an eye out for them. But mostly, it’s the offenders keeping them safe. I have never once seen an offender kill his own cat. We screen them to be sure they have no history of animal abuse. But I’ll tell you this, there was a guy killed in here because he had spit soda pop onto someone else’s cat.”"
Wow.

omfgsid:

My 4 year old brother told me he was scared to grow up and cried for like 10 minutes straight

finally I asked why he was so scared

and he said he was scared of drinking coffee

coffee

(via biodicks)


212,849 notes · 1 day ago · reblog

sadspaghetti:

when you think you’ve screwed something up but it all turns out ok in the end

image

(via acciogryffindordudes)


70,453 notes · 1 day ago · reblog
lightspeedsound:

avante-gardeian:

squigglydigg:

notasamalander:

noxtheox:

Let’s get down to business.

To outbid the huns!
Here I have some figures
and some facts and sums!

It’s the saddest lot you’ve ever bought
but if you bet on this one too
Mister I’ll
make you a buck
or two

Business man!We must be swift as the stock exchangesBusiness man!With all the force of a great tycoon 
Business man!
With all the strength of a thriving market
Mysterious as the Romney’s revenues!

I’m never gonna get this back
Say good bye to my salary 
Boy was I fool in school for cutting STATS
This guy’s got them scared to death
Hope he doesn’t see my assets 
Now I really wish I knew how to add! 
how-didn't-you-notice-this-before?